Wednesday, July 20, 2005

I feel terrible today. I miss the old me today. Whenever I was bored I could simply call my best friend up and hang out. If she was busy, I could hang out with Stacey, and if she was busy I could go hang out with Mandy and Malachi. For old times sake today I bought an Otter Pop from the popcicle man, it was sadly dissapointing. Things were better when I was little, but I would never want to do that again. I don't think people realise what's it's like having a baby. My first and utmost priority is to my son. To make sure he's happy, and fed, and changed, and clean and cared for. It is not to my friends, to my parents, to my siblings, and I feel disgusted that people would so openly insult me and my son. Calling my son names, or saying he is unwanted is not something I appreciate. Talking about how YOUR life has turned out because of me, is also something I do not appriciate. You should NEVER shape your life around others. And shame on you for doing it, it is your own fault. I have learned through too many experiences that wheather it is on purpose or not, people will hurt you so being a bitch to them does not help. And that is why I left, on top of a few other items of which I care not to talk about. I will not shape my life, my plans and my son's life around someone else. I will not be waiting for them and I will not serve them as though I may offend them if I do not do my best to please them.

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