Warning: gross medical/vomit stories.

Also, this is long.

Contains bad grammar, run on sentences, and short choppy sentences. It's just how I feel, ok?

I just needed to type this out.

 It needs to be a therapy post. 

Long and horrible, and I will probably cry... and maybe gag.

Welcome... to vomit cove.

Sunday TWO weeks ago we went to church. It was Easter. Iris had apparently pooped during church, she got a diaper change, inevitably she ended up with a diaper rash that afternoon.

As all diaper rashes on her go it has progressed to something out of a science fiction novel. Her skin is completely raw in some (important) areas, bleeding, and a lot of the "wounds" are weeping. And what's worse is she keeps having diarrhea. 

All last week was along the same lines. I figure she is teething, and diarrhea happens to teething babies... right?

Thursday night was the worst night on the history of planet Toompi. She cried all night. I changed her diaper about every hour if not sooner than that. She refused food, comfort, bed, her blanket. But she wanted them at the same time. Oh poor sweets, I know how you feel now!

I went and bought her special wipes and her organic diapers, so expensive! I also refilled her prescription for the triamcinolone (SO EXPENSIVE), which is a steroid cream. It turns her skin... modeled colors. Like dark purple blotches and yellow/green color. Apparently this is not an allergic reaction or anything for the ped. to be concerned about. We're also using caldesene and Arbonne herbal diaper creme.

Friday morning I was so tired. I felt sick to my stomach and was dizzy - something that happens to me when I am tired. And I was EXHAUSTED, so it didn't mean anything to me.

Sam had wet his bed. I know it was mostly my fault because I just kind of shoved them off to bed and didn't really pay attention to if he went potty, if he had a pull up on... I just kind of collapsed in bed myself, but still it was irritating. I had to shower him, during which time I started getting really bad stomach cramps. I got them out the door then the girls were hungry and whinny. I made oatmeal and by the time they were done, because Iris had cried all night and woken them up, we were all ready for naps. 10:00AM and all the Toompas girls were well on their way to dreamland… when suddenly – I was hit with a bad case of… dysentery. At least for a while that’s what I thought it was. Yo. People. It was bad. I’ve given birth six times; 4 of those times without any medication. This “flu” or whatever you want to call it was 1,000 times worse. And after about an hour of that I was more exhausted than after giving birth.

Not only was I having this.. issue. I also felt like I had been hit by a truck. My muscles were SO sore, my neck was stiff, my back ached... my eyelids ached! 

I have never been so sick as an adult. It was horrible.

I called Jerry. I told him he needed to come home, if I felt like this after I took a nap then he was taking me to the ER. He left work immediately and came home. Gina, one of my awesome, awesome friends took the boys home from school simply because I told her there was no way I could walk to the bus. I couldn’t even walk down the stairs. I could hardly walk to the bathroom. I’m NOT EXAGGERATING either! I had no strength or energy. I was sooo thankful that the girls were sleeping!!! 

Jerry got home and said I looked pink. I had a temp of 103.4. After he got home I basically slept the rest of the day.

Saturday morning I felt so weak, and sore and horrible. I slept all day again, that afternoon throwing up several times.

Jerry had come up to check on me on Saturday night and Lucy followed him up a few minutes later. 

“Daddy – Molly spilled all over the floor!” she said and used her hands to indicate a large area. Jerry rolled his eyes, Molly and Sam are like toddlers in that aspect, they spill all the time. “Okay honey, go downstairs. I’ll clean it up in a minute.” She looks at him with her hands on her hips. “NO DADDY. YUCKY spill. On da floo” I looked over at Jerry and we both knew. 

“I bet Molly puked.” 

He went downstairs and Molly had thrown up on the kitchen floor, dining room floor, and was just starting in on the carpet. 

The man cleaned it all up. 

Without asking for any help. I was so shocked and grateful.

He washed Moo up and put all the kids to bed an hour later. I started feeling a little bit better around 11:00PM.

20 minutes later I hear Lucy crying in her bed. Jerry and I are so tired. But I finally said, “What if Molly threw up again?” He goes in there, Molly is asleep. BUT There’s throw up all over Lucy’s bed.  He calls me in and flips the light on. 

The floor is like a mine field. EIGHT PILES of throw up.

We both have our mouthes hanging open then as in slow motion look over to Molly who is the only "free range" kid in the room and find her completely disgustingly covered in throw up. It's all over her freaking face... and she's dead asleep! 

Jerry says, "Sweetie, why didn't you call me?"

And with her hair all tussled she gives him the most epic, 'you-are-a-complete-idiot' look and says, "I didn't need your help."

We both just started howling. Laughter helps us get through times in our children's lives where we think we may die.

 Jerry puts Molly in the tub. We tear the sheets off the beds, wipe down the mattresses. It takes about 40 minutes to clean the carpets up. I look at Iris just as her diaper explodes. Everywhere.We clean her up. The girls are back in bed, their room is clean. I set a garbage can next to Molly’s bed.

Click. 

We lay in bed. Molly comes in and says she threw up again. Totally missed the garbage can. Sheet change #4. Lucy throws up while we’re in there. Molly throws up again but Jerry holds her over the bucket. We tuck them back in. Step over the GIANT pile of throw up laundry in the hallway and go back to bed. Lucy throws up an hour later. 

Sunday morning. I’m feeling pretty good. My stomach is a little weak/sore. We are obviously skipping church so I went and got a pedicure with Christina. Lucy doesn’t feel well and she slept on and off on the couch all morning but towards the end of the afternoon she goes out to play and is in a pretty good mood.  I meet up with Gina and her two boys and me and Sam and Joe go out in our neighborhood and distribute scouting for food flyers.

By the time I get home I feel like I’ve probably over done it. I just feel exhausted again. Sunday night everything is fine until Iris wakes up fussing. Jerry and I just lay there for a few minutes, we’re both so tired… but being the awesome person that he is, he got up to give her the pacifier. She has puked. All over.

He puts her in the tub, I change the sheets. We’re a well-oiled machine by now. She gets all cleaned up, new sheets, I set her on my bed and she just lays her little head on my shoulder… so pitiful, I cry a little bit… until she pukes. All over. I go clean her up this time, and myself and Jerry changes the sheets on our bed. She threw up two more times but each time I was able to catch it in a bowl. About 2AM she falls asleep and we are out in seconds.

Monday morning everyone was fine. I had SO much laundry. SO MUCH!!! I decided to keep the boys home from school. I figured they would be sick by the end of the day and I didn’t want them to get sick at school.

I worked so hard all day. Every ounce of my non-existent strength was poured into a bleach bottle and sprayed everywhere. I cleaned each slat on the girls’ beds, and door handles. I mopped the floors, scrubbed the toilets, cleaned out all the garbage cans. The windows were opened all day and while it was cold – it was fresh in here!

By the time Jerry got home this house was shining. The boys were fine! No one had been sick for 24 hours. I’d send them to school on Tuesday and I’d enjoy my day very much!

 Molly woke up crying at 1AM, covered in puke. Iris woke up crying at 4:30AM, covered in puke. After 24 hours you guys!!!

Tuesday morning came and Jerry realized he had taken the day off a couple of months before. Neither of us could figure out why so we just went with it. I sent Sam to school because I can’t live my life waiting for him to get sick. We did some big chores, some errands, and took naps then I went out with Christina to a military wives wreath making class. When I got home Jerry had had a couple of beers. Probably one more than a couple.

I went to bed without him, he was watching a DVR'd baseball game.

I woke up at 7, Jerry was sleeping and I anticipated with a hangover. 

I got the boys on the bus.

Jerry was still sleeping.

I got the girls fed and dressed.

Jerry was still sleeping.

I loaded the girls into the car and drove them all to preschool and dropped Molly off.  I decided to run an errand 20 minutes out of town and when I got back…

Jerry was still sleeping.

Finally he wakes up and tells me he had been throwing up all night, every ten minutes or so, really bad throwing up. He was running to the toilet between the times I was checking on him. Needless to say, I felt like a terrible person for sending all the kids off to school! We've probably infected ALL of Orting!

Poor Jerry was so sick all day and I knew exactly how he felt. I babied him and brought him broth and filled the humidifier and patted his back. He is feeling better now, and he’s hoping to make it to work tomorrow so... we’ll see. Somehow I doubt he's going to make it. I still don't feel back to my old self!

.When I went to get the boys off the bus this afternoon Joe did not get off.

I ran up to the window and found he was asleep. I HOUNDED that boy asking him if he was sick, does anything hurt, are you hungry? etc. etc. etc. He just kept saying, 'nooo'. When we got inside he flung his things everywhere and went up to bed. You know your boy is sick when he puts himself down for a nap!

At this point I wonder if my life is over, will I ever get things back to normal? Iris' diaper rash is looking a bit better, but I think I might take her to see a pediatric dermatologist about it.

Anyway, that's what fun stuff I've been doing lately - how about you!?