What is it? Hmmm. I've been thinking about this a lot this week. My "new year" resolutions have really gotten me thinking about a lot of things.
One of my resolutions was to get on a new schedule and the very next one was to bring more peace into the house.
Yesterday I woke up at 6, followed my new "me" schedule; Shower. Brush teeth. Get dressed. Brush hair. Coffee. Read bible. Journal. Wake up Sam. Take him to the bus. Breakfast. Chores.
Then I was done. And it was 8:45. My house was clean. MY HOUSE WAS CLEAN people.
Lucy needed a bath after her yogurt but that wasn't in the schedule so I wiped her down really well and shuffled her off to read books with the other kids. Molly wanted to "mark" or play with markers and not cooperate on my schedule. I felt like stomping my foot. 'I'm trying to be a less frazzled mom! you rotten kids!' but they didn't care and Lucy managed to take everything off our toy shelf and spread all the kids' books to the 4 corners of the living room AND on top of that Molly wet her pants after her nap and that was certainly not in the program folks. I had already done my two loads of laundry. Lucy fell asleep at 6:30 and missed bath time and I know she did it just to spite my new routine.
When I climbed into bed furious that my husband wanted to stay up and play a game and not come to bed like our pre-agreed upon schedule, I was angry all night.
When my alarm went off this morning at 6:00am I looked at it and I had a sudden moment of realization. I got everything done yesterday, but at what cost? I spent lots more time with the kids, but was I there or was I trying to have them accomplish "block time"? When I think about it now I just laugh at myself. Yesterday did not have one ounce of peace... sure, accomplishment... but at what cost?
I still don't know what schedule v. rhythm is but I did discover that the house is a lot more peaceful when I let the kids direct our schedule, when I sleep until 7:30 and when I bathe Lucy in the middle of the afternoon then put her down for a nap at 5pm.
and so I rolled over, hit the snooze and went back to sleep for another hour and a half.
Today was much more peaceful. I got a lot done, just when it fit in without pushing everything else and everyone else.
It seems silly that I'm still trying to find my footing now, doesn't it!?