I have a lot of family, I really mean a lot. And sometimes it gets a bit much. You know if you have a fight with someone over something trivial? Sometimes that happens in a family. But with big families it gets spread around. Everyone knows your business. Every time you get into an argument or financial trouble or when you have a big fight. When someone goes to jail, when a cousin is brought home by the cops. Everyone knows everything. It can be really hard. It can be hard to remember that people love you because they see the bad all the time. They know all the bad about you. They know all your failures and short comings. That's the bad part of a big family.
The other part, the good part, is a lot better. There's more love. When you go to Grandma's 83rd birthday party there are about 35 people genuinely happy to see you, excited to kiss on your kids and listen to the ridiculous things they want to talk about. They're there to support you when you get a divorce, have a miscarriage... they know, but they love you. They love to give you advice. A LOT of advice. The love though, is so easily forgotten to me. Keeping in mind the things they know, I sometimes can't fathom why they would still love me. But they do.
It's weird to go to our once a year Christmas party and see a cousin I haven't seen since the last Christmas party and there's no need to anyone to feel awkward. You just jump right back in to where you left off.
This week one of my Aunties has shown me unconditional love. Inviting us to stay at her house without question and only requesting I water her plants. They've invited us to stay as long as we want... as long as we're gone by the time they come back. ;)
Of course they didn't invite us to Arizona with them... (just kidding) but it's amazing. It's been tough living in someone else's house for sure, but the thankfulness I feel really over shadows it all.
Being in a big family is a blessing. I need to remember that more.