Wednesday, November 3, 2004
Sometimes I wish I could talk all my feelings out, but i can't, I end up just being too overcome with emotion to make any sense. I end up sounding like an idiot not knowing what I want to say, and knowing what I do want to say will make me regretful later on in life. Thus being said: Life is so upsetting, nothing is going my way. I know I'm not even eighteen, I know getting pregnant is my fault, and I know now that my Dad has a spy out on me to check up on me and even more to make sure I don't come up with my own decisions. I know he doesn't like Seth, I know he doesn't think I should marry him, I just wish that would be it. I don't want to tell him not to say anything anymore, I want him to say what he thinks I just wish this wasn't it, I wish life were perfect and I would never have to make such a decision. Worst of all, Seth doesn't want the baby, I do. I'm in love with him and he wants me to go with him to DC. I want to go, but I can't. I can't. If anything, I'll move to Boston. I've always wanted to go. leaving Othello behind with all the terrible memories and pressure and guilt would be perfect. But DC? No. Give up the baby? Deffinetely not.