Friday, October 15, 2004

I saw Seth and in doing so I've shaken my decisions which I wanted to be firm. I think it would be selfish to get rid of the baby just because I wanted to marry him. that would be the only reason I would give the baby up for adoption. And if he's not going to be a politician... I feel better about that because if I keep the baby, it wont ruin his life. He keeps saying I have all the decissions, but I don't... he does, and he's made his decission... If I keep it, he wont be around, if I get rid of the baby, he will be... but then our son wont be around, and jesus I don't know! I've prayed about it, with no answer, and I've cried about it... all the time, and that really doesn't help. And I've tried talking to him about it online, on messenger, on the phone, and in person. I feel like i have to be careful of how I word my sentances because he pulls away. I'm too tired to think about this right now

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